Radio One to close down


BBC Radio One has decided to call it a day after some 45 years of broadcasting pop music– and grooming future TV presenters with crap sweaters and even worse personalities– to become instead a giant balloon. Ignoring the fact it housed John Peel, Kid Jensen, and one or two others down the years the station’s slide into the abyss has been long in coming, but finally it has decided to give up playing records altogether.The ‘Radio One Balloon’ will be mostly┬ápink of colour, and will launch somewhere in London’s east-end during the month of September.

The station plans to cease broadcasting on midnight August 31st with a party hosted by Jessie J, and the sexy half of Take That. The last record it will feature is a well-kept secret, but bookmaker Paddy Power is offering 6/4 on it being ‘Denial’ by the Sugababes. No-one has made themselves available for comment. Not even Noel Edmonds. Or Chris Evans. Or Chris Moyles. Or Steve Wright in the afternoon.

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